"Hey, T. Can we talk for a minute?" His eyebrow raised as he tried to figure out what might justify a conversation with the principal.
"Sure," he answered timidly.
"T., can I tell you a story?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"Once upon a time . . . " I began, giving myself a moment to gather my thoughts. I was making the story up on the fly. I knew what I wanted to say, but not exactly how. It wasn't going to be a great story, but I pushed forward anyway. ". . . there were two backpackers climbing a mountain. They walked side-by-side, their backpacks filled with a lot of heavy objects. As they climbed, one of the backpackers tired more than the other. He began to take objects out of his own pack and place them in the pack of his companion. Soon his companion's pack was so heavy that he could barely continue and struggled to reach their destination. The end."
T. looked at me as if to say, "that wasn't a very good story."
I smiled and said, "T., can I tell you another story?"
"Um, yes," he said.
"Once upon a time there were two backpackers climbing a mountain . . ."
"Hey, that's the same story," he interjected.
". . . They walked side-by-side, their backpacks filled with a lot of heavy objects. As they climbed, one of the backpackers tired more than the other. The stronger of the two, seeing his friend's struggle, began to take some of the heavy objects out of companion's pack and place them in his own. Together they reached their destination. The end," I concluded. "T, what's the difference in these two stories?"
"Well, in the first one, the backpacker put heavy objects in the other's backpack and made it harder for his companion. In the second story, one backpacker made it easier for the other."
"That's right," I said. "Which type of backpacker do you want to be?"
Recognizing where the conversation was headed, he dropped his head slightly and said, "the one who helps the other."
"T., you have a substitute teacher in your classroom who is doing her best. COVID-19 is placing a heavy burden on our teachers and these substitute teachers are jumping in and trying to help us out. Are you increasing her burden or trying to reduce it?"
He knew the answer.
I followed up with the substitute teacher the next day and was informed that T. had done much better the remainder of the day and into the next.
Obviously, I'm not a great story-teller, but what I want to share from this experience is this: as teachers and administrators, we need to remember that every opportunity to punish is actually an opportunity to teach.
I believe our students, almost without exception, want to do what is right, but sometimes they just need a gentle reminder.
"Sure," he answered timidly.
"T., can I tell you a story?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"Once upon a time . . . " I began, giving myself a moment to gather my thoughts. I was making the story up on the fly. I knew what I wanted to say, but not exactly how. It wasn't going to be a great story, but I pushed forward anyway. ". . . there were two backpackers climbing a mountain. They walked side-by-side, their backpacks filled with a lot of heavy objects. As they climbed, one of the backpackers tired more than the other. He began to take objects out of his own pack and place them in the pack of his companion. Soon his companion's pack was so heavy that he could barely continue and struggled to reach their destination. The end."
T. looked at me as if to say, "that wasn't a very good story."
I smiled and said, "T., can I tell you another story?"
"Um, yes," he said.
"Once upon a time there were two backpackers climbing a mountain . . ."
"Hey, that's the same story," he interjected.
". . . They walked side-by-side, their backpacks filled with a lot of heavy objects. As they climbed, one of the backpackers tired more than the other. The stronger of the two, seeing his friend's struggle, began to take some of the heavy objects out of companion's pack and place them in his own. Together they reached their destination. The end," I concluded. "T, what's the difference in these two stories?"
"Well, in the first one, the backpacker put heavy objects in the other's backpack and made it harder for his companion. In the second story, one backpacker made it easier for the other."
"That's right," I said. "Which type of backpacker do you want to be?"
Recognizing where the conversation was headed, he dropped his head slightly and said, "the one who helps the other."
"T., you have a substitute teacher in your classroom who is doing her best. COVID-19 is placing a heavy burden on our teachers and these substitute teachers are jumping in and trying to help us out. Are you increasing her burden or trying to reduce it?"
He knew the answer.
I followed up with the substitute teacher the next day and was informed that T. had done much better the remainder of the day and into the next.
Obviously, I'm not a great story-teller, but what I want to share from this experience is this: as teachers and administrators, we need to remember that every opportunity to punish is actually an opportunity to teach.
I believe our students, almost without exception, want to do what is right, but sometimes they just need a gentle reminder.
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